So I'm walking down the street
minding my own business
when this guy starts with me
he's sucking his lips goin:
hey, baby, hey, yo yo yo, baby baby baby
and I get kinda tense and nervous
but I keep walkin'
but the guy's doggin' my every move:
hey, miss, he says, don't miss this, and he grabs his
crotch and sneers ear to ear.
So finally, I turn around:
hey, buddy, I say, i'm feeling pretty tense, buddy, i've got
a fuckin' song in my heart, so come on
i've got a huge bucket of non dairy creamer and some time to
kill, so let's do it
we'll make some foul smelling artificial milk and drink gallons
and gallons and gallons of it
get our bladders painfully full
then go sit on the toilet together and let the water run in the
shower and torture ourselves
by not letting ourselves urinate
as the water rushes loudly
into the bathtub
we'll do it together
writhe in utter agony
just you and me
and i'll even spring for some of that blue shit for the toilet
i mean that's my idea of a good time
so how about it?
The guy backs up a bit
whatsa matta, baby, you got somethin' against men? he asks.
no, I say
i don't have anything against men
just stupid men.